Congratulations, you’ve found my website!
I’m not entirely sure what you’re doing here.
Okay, truth be told, I’m not even entirely sure what I’m doing here, but it’s my website, so I sort of have an obligation, whereas you… you came here of your own volition.
What does that make you? Ah, yes.
You’re still here? That’s very kind of you. I like you. Have a seat, and a cookie. Take a look around. Make yourself comfortable.
Oh, and while you’re at it, check out my books. They aren’t too bad.