Smartassing across the Sea

Yesterday, an American friend of mine said how she was tired of Europeans thinking they can solve American problems from across the sea. I know I’m one of those who make her feel that way. I can relate, and I’m sorry. It must be annoying to time and again have people stick their noses into what’s none of their business.


We’re not going to stop, and here’s why.

(Disclaimer: I’m not omniscient. Other Europeans will have other reasons. Some simply enjoy donning a superior air.)

Dear US, your policies have been affecting the entire world for ages, and they probably always will. You invade countries, destroy societal structures and impose your views and moral standards in the name of liberty.

If you’re thinking of pulling out the Hitler cudgel right now, please desist. For one thing, it’s tired. Yes, you did a good thing back then and we’re grateful, but it was more than seventy years ago and frankly speaking, if a seventy-year-old argument is the only one you have, well, then that’s an argument in itself. Right now in Europe, we’re too busy to remember feeling grateful. We’re sheltering the millions of refugees of a war (or rather, a series of wars) you started, and whom you don’t want for fear of terrorist attacks.

In other words, we bear the effects of your policies. But we don’t get a vote in your elections. All we can do is, sit here and wait for the results and consequences to wash over us. It makes us feel helpless, powerless and frustrated. Small wonder we resort to sarcasm and smartassery. It’s a traditional European coping mechanism, a brainchild of arrogance and depression.

Especially now that you’ve got yourself your own Hitler. Yes, the comparison is just as tired, but the thing is, while you grew up with the fear of communism instilled into you, air raid drills and all, we grew up being taught how to see the signs of fascism, and to never, never ever, go there again. Your Russia is our WWII Germany, and we see all the signs in Donald J. Trump.

He’s already censoring the media and silencing critics – refusing to accept questions is a form of censorship, as is referring as ‘dishonest media’ to any outlet that speaks unfavorable of him.

He’s using old-fashioned propaganda tools like repeating lies and ‘alternative facts’ (which is a sweet term for lies, as the alternative to facts is fiction, I’m a fiction writer, I should know) until they miraculously become not the truth, but a fictional reality people believe in.

Long rant short, please understand if we can’t sit idly by. The other option would be to, you know, invade your country in the name of liberty.

Just kidding. We’re not crazy, or at least not that crazy. Donald has the nuclear codes, and he’s not afraid to use them.

I’m sorry if we come across as arrogant douchebags. It’s just our very subtle way to say we’re worried.

Stay safe, everybody.


About angelikarust

My name is Angelika Rust. I was born in Vienna in 1977. These days, I live in Germany, with my husband, two children, a despotic couple of cats and a hyperactive dog. After having tried almost every possible job from pizza delivery girl to HR consultant, I now make a living knowing English. No, I haven’t yet figured out what I want to be when I grow up, whenever that may be. In the meantime, I write the occasional book.
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